Been too busy to do anything really. Emails, texts, voicemails, they just pile up. Had a show at Martini Ranch tonight, went pretty well, kinda average but so it goes. Met a cool indie girl, got to watch Phunk Junkeez rock it.
In the band room in the back of the club I got to debate if I really wanted to be the 35-40 year old guy still trying to grab groupies after shows with a band... The answer is no, this will be a shorter experience than that :) I rather get married, or get a life... But my girlfriend of five years (damn) won't return my calls because of this lifestyle, and I'm in love with someone who I spend more time texting than physical time with (damn internet/cellular generation) so I guess I'm doomed to some strange ambigious path.
Somedays I wonder if I should just move home, get a job and get married and go the beach and have little brown flower children. Not a bad back up plan. I took on several more clients this week, and everything involving people with strange motives, or things that don't directly effect my life got moved to the far backburner. Kind of means I'm leaving out people, but at some point I have to start making those decisions. Honestly, if you're a negative influence, you might never hear from me again.
My bandmate didn't have $2 to take the bus to our show tonight, things are rough. We're arguably the biggest name in AZ and he has absolutely nothing, although he's in a better place than signed rappers out here. One rapper got his chains snatched, and they were on loan from a jeweler, and now in addition to owing his label he owes 75k to the jeweler. Another rapper got 80k and a free whip from a sponsor and ended up having to sell the whip to pay for his lifestyle based debts. Crazy how it goes out here, last thing I'ma do is buy jewelry, and honestly you can live like a don in AZ on 30k a year, so why try to go overboard? I just need that little hawaii spot I can go relax at...
Hard to come to grips with being a role model.
We have a couple songs about drugs and partying and ridiculousness and people really like them, but we're in a strange place because our album has only one song about that stuff, the rest is love and politics (drugs, money, love, politics, every song topic ever) and we don't know if we'll be popular with that album... We're going towards it though, our lead single will be called "Change the World" (featuring Barack Obama samples) and I guess you only get one chance to be influential. I'm so scared of another Republican presidential term its unbelievable. I know so many kids who say they will vote for Obama, because it's cool to like him, but in reality I know they're gonna go in there and do their same conservative voting bullshit, and it really, really scares me. I'm just hoping there's an equal crowd who can't admit to supporting Obama, but are going to hold him down at the right time.
Like the popular vote even matters.
Like American's won't keep destroying everything around them, and thinking about money before family. I've watched it with my own eyes, the stability of my upbringing is almost incredible in retrospect.
Anyway, gotta be in the office again tomorrow (holidays shmolidays) early so it's time to get to sleep, no shows tomorrow, so maybe I'll get to work and get ahead if I'm lucky.
