Ah, I'd been working to keep it real for so long and right when I thought I'd reached my pinnacle of out-of-touchness I realized I'd become what I was running from...
Clues You Are a Hipster
You frequently use the term "post-modern" (or its commonly used variation "PoMo") as an adjective, noun, and verb.
Dammit. I even used avante garde in casual conversation today.
You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses.
Yeah, ummmmmm... If I didn't buy the bag does it still count? Victim of the glasses too. Dammit.
You have one Republican friend who you always describe as being your "one Republican friend."
DK!
Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.
Ahhhh... Yeah, don't wash the hair much.
6. You own records put out by Matador, DFA, Definitive Jux, Dischord, Warp, Thrill Jockey, Smells Like Records, and Drag City.
Ahhhhh... My The Juan Maclean Collection! Dammit.
Clues You Are Not A Hipster
1. You teach Sunday School.
Been to church once. For my brother's wedding.
2. You are a big fan of the suburbs and vinyl siding.
I have an innate fear of white picket fences and most white people. And I honestly don't even know what vinyl siding is.
3. You have a special "spill shirt" that you wear when you eat dinner at night.
That'd be my Louis Vuitton bandada.
4. You read novels with raised lettering on their covers.
I've always wondered about those people who shop in the raised lettering section of the airport bookstore.
5. You eat at Popeye's on a regular basis.
They call Kentucky Fried Chicken only KFC now on all materials because they can't legally say Kentucky Fried "Chicken".
6. You work in an office building that has a man-made pond and a fountain in its front lot.
Yeah, um, what is this "work" you speak of?
I'm gonna start watching more television and wearing dress clothes to try and break the cycle.
